Sheila and Sarah - Day 19 - Happy Endings:)

Sheila Day 19

I love the Hallmark channel this time of the year.  I look forward to the Christmas movies where couples are often with the wrong individual while the right one is right under their proverbial noses.  Then BAM it hits them, the LOVE BUG!  And finally, they discover the one that they were meant to be with. The stories always have the same components. They have minimal amounts of conflict, the characters are somewhat relatable, and the story always have a happy ending.  I have yet to watch one of these little pieces of brain candy and not get what I was expecting in the story line . . . the happy ending.   However, if there is one thing that I have learned throughout my own life, the happy ending does not always happen the way we imagined it . . . sigh . . .

My day of learning started at home as that is were I worked today amidst a sea of grading and final grade submission.  However, I opted to workout with the blinds shut to minimize reflections.  I look AMAZING working out in my imagination and I opted to just stay with that reality rather than the one I saw yesterday.  Then I was getting really worried about my sister Dawn as I have not heard for her in a few days.  This time of the year always has her totally swamped and when coupled with my crazy chaotic life, opportunities to connect are minimal.  TOTAL BUMMER.  It has been hard on her this fall as her nest is now empty.  This weekend she put up her Christmas tree alone.  She told me that she created the Pottery Barn version of a tree.  She did not have the heart to put up the girls' ornaments from Christmases past.  She found herself lost in the memories as her life has now shifted into a new reality.  I remember these feelings so well as I walked past empty rooms, struggled to make meaning of my own life without my babies in the nest, and even now, there are a lot of tears as reality looks so much different than I had planned.  Cal and I did not make it through the emptying of the nest.  I have learned that this is a brutal time for mamas and daddies.  Please pray for those who face empty nests this holiday season, my guess is, they really need it. 

My journey finally took me to my recliner.  Dressed in my flannel pants, comfy sweatshirt, my old Ugg slippers, and the little electric fireplace going, I was finally ready to tackle the pile of papers that needed to be graded before I could submit grades.  I can honestly tell you the A's are easy.  The B's are easy.  The F's are pretty easy.  The C's and D's are a challenge.  I know my students.  I know their struggles, challenges, and for many their journey throughout the semester.  I sometimes feel as though I would just rather use the stair method of grading.  I learned this today as I was searching for pictures for the blog.  Here is how it goes.  You give each step a label, then you throw the papers up in the air, and their grades depend on the step on which they have landed.  I think this would be sooooooo much easier, although not particularly fair!  I just wish that all of the educational journeys could end like my Hallmark movies . . . happy!  I love it when some thank me for their grades as though I had something to do with the hard work and diligence they put in to earn the grade.  They earned it, it is theirs.  BUT I learned today that the C's that probably deserve D's and the D's that deserve F's are really painful for me.  I wish that there was something more I could do to change the ending. 

Something really cool happened for me today and I learned that people sometimes are so generous!!!  I was stressing because tomorrow we have 150 or so little kiddos coming to the college to see Santa and I committed to bringing 150 sugar cookies for them to decorate.  Problem number 1, spendy!!!!  Problem number 2, no time to bake!  Problem number 3, I needed sugar cookies.  My friend Kim and her Grandma Marion offered to make my cookies for me.  They got up early, baked cookies, and boxed them up for me to take tomorrow to work.  I could have cried at their willingness to sacrifice their time and energy to make tomorrow an awesome day for the little munchkins that walk through our doors.  Tonight I went to pick them up, tasted a couple and they are amazing, and loaded them up to take to work tomorrow.  I cannot articulate how very much I appreciate their gift of time and cookies!

Tonight, I am reflecting on my day, and although I scarcely left the recliner, so much learning took place.  And then I got to thinking about happy endings.  Whereas I love the Hallmark brain candy and I think happy endings are amazing, maybe it is not about the happy endings, but rather about the story that is written.  There are many chapters in my life's story.  Some are beautiful.  Some are painful and brutal.  Some are sad and filled with loneliness.  Some show incredible strength and perseverance.  Some are ugly. Some are happy and joyful.  However, all of the chapters are mine. They represent my spiritual journey and each has helped me to evolve into who I am today.  My hope is that we all can find a way to embrace our journey and focus on the story.  Think of another child born long ago whose story ended with pain and death, but ultimately assured that our life's ending would definitely be happy.  Sacrifice of self almost always leads to someplace happy . . . sigh:)  

Happy Writing,
Sheila

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Sarah Day 19

My endings were not so happy today. Let me tell you why . . . 

I have been telling Jesse for the last couple weeks now that I would make him chocolate chip cookies. Today, I finally got around to it. After my workout, I made a quick run to the grocery store because I needed to pick up a few things for supper tonight. While I was there, I decided I would be all wife-like and make holiday peanut butter blossoms as well. I figured that Jesse and I could keep some cookies here and the rest he could take with him to work tomorrow. I had this vision in my head of how my afternoon of cooking and baking would go. My vision was that I would start with the peanut butter blossoms, and then I would bake the chocolate chip cookies. After that I would start my vegetable soup that I planned on making, and by the time all that was completed, I would start supper, which was shrimp linguini. In my vision, I had the Christmas music on and the candles lit. The cats would be sleeping on the couch and the apartment would smell like fresh baked cookies. And because of my very well thought out plan, I wouldn't even have a mess. Seriously though, who was I kidding? 

If you know me at all, you know that I am not much of a baker. For my normal holiday treat, I typically stick with the chocolate covered pretzels with red and green sprinkles because they are easy. You melt some chocolate on the stove, line your pretzels on some wax paper, splatter the chocolate on the pretzels, and toss on some sprinkles. Pretty mindless. Not much can go wrong with that simple treat. Today was my first time trying to bake homemade peanut butter blossoms and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Shame on me for being so naive. Baking is MUCH harder than it looks. 

I chose to begin by following the vision in my head. I turned on my Christmas music, lit the cinnamon candles, took out all of my tools for the peanut butter blossoms, and I began. I learned very quickly that I am a messy baker. There was flour, sugar, butter, peanut butter, and crisco pretty much everywhere. Other than the mess, the dough for my blossoms turned out to be rather tasty. My first batch that I put in the oven were much too large. When I took them out, they were pretty flat. Mom's peanut butter blossoms were never flat. I figured they were so flat because I made them too big. So the second round, I made them a bit smaller. But once again, they were too big and pretty flat. By then I texted Mom a picture and said that my cookies didn't look like hers. She assured me that they didn't look bad, so I continued. For the final batch, I made them quite a bit smaller and they turned out to be the perfect size, but still flat. I did a little taste test and decided that they were much too crunchy. Mom's blossoms were never crunchy. I deemed my first cookie baking attempt a fail. 

Alright, chocolate chip cookies can't be too difficult, that's what I thought anyway. Jesse is obsessed with Mom's chocolate chip cookies. He usually eats the whole bag that she sends us. When I told him I was finally going to make cookies today, his response was, "Are they going to be as good as your moms?" Hmmm . . . NO. But I figured I would give it my best shot. For whatever reason, I chose to use a recipe that I found on Pinterest. After combing all of my ingredients, not only did my dough look unappetizing and sticky, it didn't taste good at all. So . . . I dumped the dough in the garbage and decided to try again with Mom's recipe. Oh but first, I had to go back to the store because by that time I ran out of flower and brown sugar. I called Mom again and told her that I had everything for her recipe except margarine. I only had butter. She said she prefers margarine, but if I only had butter that it shouldn't make a huge difference. WRONG. The stupid butter made a ginormous difference. Although my cookie dough tasted much better this time, it felt weird. It was a little dry and crumbly. She told me not to add anything and just put them in the oven, so I did. I learned that not only were my peanut butter blossoms a fail but my chocolate chip cookies were as well. Again, I called Mom, had myself little venting session and told her I was never baking again. 

I finally decided to move on to supper, because I can usually cook decently as long as I have a recipe. I was pretty thrilled that my shrimp linguine and garlic bread came out just as I was hoping. FINALLY, one thing went right. When Jesse walked in the door, he was very impressed by all the cookies on the counter and his hot meal waiting for him. I stopped him in his sentence and told him not to get too excited because the cookies all tasted pretty terrible in comparison to Mom's. He laughed a little when I told him how badly my vision failed. But, Jesse being the kind hearted person that he is, took one of my cookies and gave it a try. He said they weren't bad at all. Right this minute, I still don't know if he is lying or not. 

Long story long, my lesson learned today is that Mom's cookies are the best and that I should never ever try again. I learned that I am a very messy baker and that I should not add the flower to the mixer when the mixer is on full speed. I learned that I should clean up one mess before moving on to create another mess. I learned that my cats never sleep when I am in the kitchen. I learned that Christmas music annoys me when I just failed at three batches of cookies, and that the smell of cinnamon candles combined with the smell of cookies gives me a headache. I think my nose just got confused. All in all, it was a long day and a hard lesson to learn, but I think I deserve an A for effort. 

Cheers to not so happy endings!

Sarah